Have you been subjected to domestic abuse? Don’t suffer in silence. Find support networks across Essex by visiting essexcompass.org.uk
Essex Domestic Abuse Helpline:
0330 333 7 444
Helpline available from 8 am to 8 pm weekdays and 8 am to 1 pm weekends
Domestic Abuse
Change delivers community based Respect accredited domestic violence perpetrator programmes which include a dedicated Integrated Support Service for victims of domestic abuse and their children. Our programmes are for men, women, and those within same sex relationships, who want to stop being abusive towards intimate partners.
Signs of Domestic Abuse
Are you in an abusive relationship?
For the 12-month period to year ending March 2020 the Crime Survey for England and Wales showed that an estimated 2.3 million adults aged 16 to 74 years experienced domestic abuse in the last year (1.6 million women and 757,000 men)
Abusive signs addressed in our Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes:
| Abuse Category | Examples |
|---|---|
| Emotional | Put downs, eroding self confidence and self worth, inciting paranoia (Gas Lighting), humiliation. |
| Isolation & Jealousy | Control and restrict activity and travel, who’s seen, what’s watched or read, limit or discourage outside communication. |
| Using Children | Encourage children to take sides, stir feelings of guilt about the children, use child contact as an opportunity to harass. |
| Physical | Shoving, hair pulling, punching, kicking, choking, restraining, poking, slapping, burning/scalding. |
| Threats & Intimidation | Threats of harm targeted at an individual, their friends or their family, punching walls or smashing objects. |
| Sexual | Forcing sex, use of sulks or punishments if refused sex, forcing the viewing of any sexual acts. |
| Economic | Preventing employment, denying access to household finances, taking income/benefits, forcing begging for ‘pocket money’. |
DAPP Colchester Funded Places
We have funded places for a group or 1-2-1 work in Colchester on the DAPP. The programme is for individuals who want to address their abusive behaviour. We accept both statutory and self-referrals. The places are fully funded and interpreters are available. Please contact 07713 307636 or 07872 541982 for more information.
DAPP Programme
Want to change your abusive behaviour?
The Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programme (DAPP) is for individuals who want to stop being abusive towards their (ex) partners and are motivated to change their behaviour. We accept both statutory and self-referrals for both males and females.
The Integrated Support Service (ISS) will assess and manage risk and can provide emotional and practical support. They are also able to refer survivors into our BACP accredited counselling service. The Integrated Support Service works alongside other agencies and can signpost or refer survivors into other agencies that would be beneficial or perhaps increase their safety.
Some men who come on programme are desperate to save their relationship with their partner and move on from the abuse. Once the programme has been successfully completed, and the couple have both actively engaged throughout, then there is potential to continue into Relationship Counselling with a Change Counsellor to help you negotiate new couple communication skills.
Supporting Victims & Survivors
The Change Project offers a service to women and men who have experienced domestic abuse and whose (ex)partner has been referred to the group or individual Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes. This service is free and is available regardless whether your (ex) partner completes the course.
Our Integrated Partner Support service is aimed at increasing victim’s safety. By enabling victims to explore and make sense of their experience of domestic abuse, we can help to increase their control over their own lives by:
Proactive contact
We make proactive contact with every current or ex partner of the client attending one of our Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes. This is done through sending an information pack and through making every effort to make contact by telephone.
Follow up and priority contact
We always try to stay in touch with (ex)partners by calling them at regular intervals. When we have specific concerns for the safety of a victim or his/her children we immediately prioritise that call and do everything in our power to minimise the risk.
I’m not sure I want to get involved?
You do not have to. The partner’s safety officer services are voluntary and whether you accept the service or not does not affect your partner or ex-partner’s suitability assessment outcome. However the partner’s service is highly recommended.
Counselling
Domestic Abuse affects everyone in the family. We can help.
Testimonials of attendees from our Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programmes…
“When I started the programme, I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I should have been there. I blamed my ex for everything, but then I learned how much it was about me, how I acted, how I would control everything and what damage I had done. It was at that point I realised, I really do need to be here. I am no different to the others, I don’t want to do that anymore.”
–Anonymous
I just wanted to say a big thank you. My last day was really quite emotional. It was a long course but I honestly leave with a hugely positive feeling and I feel I have learnt a lot from you. I will actually miss you.
I have huge respect for what you do and how you do it. Big hug to you and again thank you.
– Client from our Domestic Violence Prevention Programmes run in Chelmsford
I quickly realised that I had to take responsibility for my actions. At first, I thought that perhaps it would save our relationship, but quickly realised as I began the course that this wasn’t the most important issue. The real issue was dealing with my behaviour, for myself, and for the long term, whether it could save our relationship or not.
During my time with the Essex change programme, I went through an awful lot of experiences, ranging from realising what I had been doing wrong and why, to understanding the deeper issues behind domestic abuse, and the real effects of such behaviour on those you love. This at times, was a real emotional roller coaster of a ride for me.
There are a lot of key areas covered on the course, including how/why you became abusive, the effects of such abuse, women’s anger, to name but a few, and each session began with key questions for each person to cover (partner and spouse(s) names, any abusive behaviour, most abusive behaviour etc., similarly, there were also questions to be answered at the end of each session, which helped to focus on what we had learned/understood for that particular session.
Key topics were covered by both discussion and (very powerful) roleplay, in which we all took part at some point, which served to reinforce the outcomes of each topic covered.
Towards the end of the course it began to dawn on me that I was making real and positive progress on a personal level, culminating in an almost Eureka’ moment of realisation around week 26. This also quickly led to a breakthrough moment in terms of communicating with my ex partner, and being able to see our children.
Given that the course is designed to really deal with the issues at the heart of domestic abuse, and is not a ‘quick fix’, it was both long and often very challenging. These ‘challenges’ regarding our comments and discussions on domestic abuse came mainly from other people on the course, which initially was uncomfortable, but later on enabled each of us to realise where we were in understanding and overcoming our behaviour.
The outcome for me is firstly that I really do know how to deal with anger now, in an appropriate way. Secondly, although I am definitely going through a divorce (not through choice), I can communicate effectively with my ex partner, to the extent that I now see my children every weekend, outside of the need for a contact centre, and that my children have overnight stays with me (something which seemed an impossibility at the time of the course).
Finally, I deeply regret not having found the Essex Change course at an earlier point in my relationship, and really feel that this course should be supported to be made more widely available to more people.
It really is a ‘change for life’ course, and although a great deal of commitment and soul searching is needed, the question has to be ‘If I really want to change for life, then I have to be committed to that change, for life’.
I would have absolutely no hesitation in recommending this course to ANYONE who is seeking to deal with their abusive behaviour towards their loved ones.”
– Mr B