Testimonials
From attendees from our Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programme
“When I started the programme, I’ll be honest, I didn’t think I should have been there. I blamed my ex for everything, but then I learned how much it was about me, how I acted, how I would control everything and what damage I had done. It was at that point I realised, I really do need to be here. I am no different to the others, I don’t want to do that anymore.”
Anonymous
I just wanted to say a big thank you. My last day was really quite emotional. It was a long course but I honestly leave with a hugely positive feeling and I feel I have learnt a lot from you. I will actually miss you. I have huge respect for what you do and how you do it. Big hug to you and again thank you.
Anonymous
As an individual who’s partner left me because of domestic abuse: I quickly realised that I had to take responsibility for my actions. At first, I thought that perhaps it would save our relationship, but quickly realised as I began the course that this wasn’t the most important issue. The real issue was dealing with my behaviour, for myself, and for the long term, whether it could save our relationship or not.
During my time with the Essex change programme, I went through an awful lot of experiences, ranging from realising what I had been doing wrong and why, to understanding the deeper issues behind domestic abuse, and the real effects of such behaviour on those you love. This at times, was a real emotional roller coaster of a ride for me.
There are a lot of key areas covered on the course, including how/why you became abusive, the effects of such abuse, women’s anger, to name but a few, and each session began with key questions for each person to cover (partner and spouse(s) names, any abusive behaviour, most abusive behaviour etc., similarly, there were also questions to be answered at the end of each session, which helped to focus on what we had learned/understood for that particular session.
Key topics were covered by both discussion and (very powerful) roleplay, in which we all took part at some point, which served to reinforce the outcomes of each topic covered.
Towards the end of the course it began to dawn on me that I was making real and positive progress on a personal level, culminating in an almost Eureka’ moment of realisation around week 26. This also quickly led to a breakthrough moment in terms of communicating with my ex partner, and being able to see our children.
Given that the course is designed to really deal with the issues at the heart of domestic abuse, and is not a ‘quick fix’, it was both long and often very challenging. These ‘challenges’ regarding our comments and discussions on domestic abuse came mainly from other people on the course, which initially was uncomfortable, but later on enabled each of us to realise where we were in understanding and overcoming our behaviour.
The outcome for me is firstly that I really do know how to deal with anger now, in an appropriate way. Secondly, although I am definitely going through a divorce (not through choice), I can communicate effectively with my ex partner, to the extent that I now see my children every weekend, outside of the need for a contact centre, and that my children have overnight stays with me (something which seemed an impossibility at the time of the course).
Finally, I deeply regret not having found the Essex Change course at an earlier point in my relationship, and really feel that this course should be supported to be made more widely available to more people.
It really is a ‘change for life’ course, and although a great deal of commitment and soul searching is needed, the question has to be ‘If I really want to change for life, then I have to be committed to that change, for life’.
I would have absolutely no hesitation in recommending this course to ANYONE who is seeking to deal with their abusive behaviour towards their loved ones.”
Mr B
From Counselling Clients
Individual
“I wasn’t sure what to expect from online counselling, but it has honestly been life-changing. From the very first session, I felt listened to, understood, and never judged. Being able to talk from the comfort of my own home made it easier to open up about things I’ve struggled with for a long time. My counsellor was compassionate, patient, and helped me make sense of my thoughts and feelings in a way I hadn’t been able to before. Over time, I’ve grown in confidence and started to feel more like myself again. I’m incredibly grateful for the support I received, it’s made a real difference to my life.” - Simon
Youth
“I used to feel really anxious all the time, especially about my friends at school. Things would change a lot and I never knew where I stood, which made me feel left out and worried. I overthought everything and found it hard to talk to anyone about it, but having counselling online really helped. My counsellor was kind and easy to talk to, and I felt like I could be myself without being judged. Over time, I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety better and not blame myself for everything. I feel more confident and stronger in myself now. Things at school aren’t perfect, but I don’t feel as alone with it anymore. I’m really glad I had the chance to talk to someone who understood.” - LH (13 years old)
Couple
“We came to counselling at a point where we didn’t think our relationship could continue. Things had become really difficult between us. We were arguing a lot, not communicating properly, and had started to feel more like opponents than partners. We were both exhausted and had even started talking about separating. Counselling gave us a safe space to slow things down and really listen to each other. Our counsellor helped us understand what was sitting underneath the arguments and gave us tools to communicate in a calmer, more respectful way. It wasn’t always easy but it helped us reconnect and see things differently. We’re in a much better place now. We understand each other more and feel more hopeful about our future together. Reaching out for support was one of the best decisions we made.” - Darren and Angie
From our Youth Services
“Today’s workshop really opened my eyes to what healthy communication looks like in a relationship. I now understand consent much more clearly, and I will be making a real effort to be more considerate and understanding towards others.”
“I learned how important it is not to rely on stereotypes and to always check in with my partner. From now on, I will be braver about calling out behaviour that feels wrong, in myself and in others.”
“The session helped me rethink how I approach relationships, especially around consent and communication. I will be more mindful going forward and take responsibility for speaking up when something is not right.”
From our Training Courses
"An excellent day of training! Engaging, informative, and delivered by truly knowledgeable facilitators. The visuals, case studies, and expert guidance made the learning both interesting and impactful."
"Fantastic training! The facilitators were amazing and helped us really understand biases and how they influence our decisions. It was one of the most insightful and informative sessions I’ve attended."
"Perfect! The best learning event I’ve ever been on. The trainers were engaging, the content was powerful, and the entire experience was incredibly valuable. Thank you!"